Gender Vs Gender



I was in such a great mood all festival season that I didn’t even want to write a blog! And now I’m back and have a bunch to say, so I’m going to start with something on the more serious and something that gets under my skin pretty easily. The G-word. Gender.

Let’s start with the most hilarious cliche we use in our own country: Women are Devis aka Goddesses.

I’m going to laugh my bottom off on this one or have an aneurism. Uummmmmm, NO.

Women are Goddesses as long as there is a festival, or, as long as they are our own mothers (don’t even get me started on that), our sisters or daughters. The moment the dreaded in-laws word get attached, they are closer to satan than god. And the moment we don’t know them, they are pieces of meat: to be judged and dissected.

We have zero respect for women in not only this country, but all over the world. So all of you living in the so called ‘westernised’ part of the world kindly keep mum and listen too.

The latest point in case? The #metoo movement flooding our Facebook walls. Others? #iamshe #feminist #genderequality #payequality…….. and endless list of hashtags we attach to the situations we find ourselves in today.

There are so many times when tasteless phrases like “Bros before Hoes” and their likes have found their way into the vocabularies of the same men who would draw daggers at the mere insult of their ‘womenfolk’. ( Which also leads me to the question, that if a woman is a ‘Hoe’, what’s the male equivalent?)

Let me not even get started on how the media portrays women…..ugh.

And let’s not make this about men degrading women only. Women have an equal and equally sinister role to play in how we bring each other down.

As women, we have coined such an expansive vocabulary to demean our kind, stuff I’d rather not put on my pages. We find pleasure in bringing each other down. We belittle our peers’ successes, sometimes a career woman isn’t taking care of her domestic life well enough and sometimes a stay-at-home mom isn’t smart enough to keep up with shop-talk.

When I was working, I wasn’t working hard enough on my married life, my new family, and my future family. When you’re working, your children give you grief for not being around as much as you need them. The house is never managed upto an outsiders exacting standards. You can’t have me-time without being made to feel like a criminal. Basically, you’re a self centred career woman.

Now, as a stay-at-home mom, I’m given grief about when I’m going back to work, letting my education go waste (hey!!), and how I still can’t make time for those uber-interesting social engagements. I’m unpaid for all the labour that goes into maintaining a home, for all the meals that magically appear on the table, and I’m labelled as ‘free’. Or as I like to call it bonded and unpaid labour.

So, it’s fair to say that from my perspective, atleast, men have the better deal.

I mean, you’re free to wear what you want. Sit like you want. Roam around the house topless. Have all possible career choices. You can go out at anytime of day or night carefree. The cab driver won’t molest you. Your boss won’t sexually harass you. Public transport is safe. Sunday’s playing golf is your payback for those 18 hour shifts you’ve pulled at work all week. Guys nights out are an entitlement for all the hours spent in office. You earned that drink after all.

You just have to pull on your pants and shirt and waltz off from all responsibilities of family and friends. I mean you can pee anywhere you want to, fearlessly. Need I say more??

Feeling guilty or angry yet? Go ahead and start making an attitude change towards the women in your life first. Start seeing them in a gender neutral light, and give them their dues. Be the change you want to see, before your Facebook wall reflects mass opinions. Don’t be afraid to stand behind the women in your life despite the people who say that they ‘wear the pants’. Pants are cool, pants have pockets. Everyone should wear pants.

If you think I’m going to put a flip side here about how great it is to be a woman: I’m not. I’m tired of making excuses to be entitled to my opinions.

I’m enjoying this life as a woman, but next one? I’m going to be born a man.


P.S. This is MY opinion and my blog 🙂 Read it and move along man! It’s a blog not the constitution!!

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